‘She expects VIP service from her family. If she does one nice thing, she will expect the entire world for the next 10 years’ Dear Quentin,

My mother taught me never to hold a grudge. It’s proven harder in practice than in theory: My mother-in-law gave me a “diamond” ring and said she wanted me to have it for everything I’ve done for her. I thanked her and let her know that it makes me happy when she is happy. 

When I took the ring to a jeweler to have it resized, the gemologist told me it was a fake — in fact — it’s costume jewelry (their words). I was dumbfounded. Is this a new form of evil? I’m trying to come up with a word, but I can’t seem to wrap my finger around it.

There seems to be a sense of entitlement to my mother-in-law rather than, say, passive-aggressive behavior. She expects VIP service from her family. If she does one nice thing, she will expect the entire world for the next 10 years. What should I do?

Daughter-in-Law

Related: ‘Death and money bring out the worst in people’: My stepmother wants me to relinquish my rights to my late father’s estate. How do I handle this gracefully?

Dear Daughter-in-Law,

Fake diamonds are not a daughter-in-law’s best friend.

A gemologist identifies a fake diamond; a psychologist can detect a fake relationship. You are neither a gemologist nor a psychologist, and yet you appear to be drawing a line between the two. It’s hard to spot a fake, and your mother-in-law is not a gemologist.

The price of this stone is solely dependent on the value you put on it. It could mean that your mother-in-law is attempting to show her gratitude or, perhaps less likely, that she is using it as a sly commentary on your relationship (“you, my dear, are as fake as this ring”).